What If You’re Not Healing—You’re Decomposing?

A transmission from the Book of Divine Madness by the Priesthood of No-Sense.

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You keep saying you’re healing.

But what if you’re not?

What if the fatigue, the confusion, the slow-drifting detachment from the person you used to be…

isn’t healing—

it’s decomposition?

Not in the grim way.

In the sacred way.

The way the caterpillar rots in the cocoon before becoming anything with wings.

The way a forest fire scorches the land clean for ancient seeds to awaken.

You’re not failing.

You’re fermenting.

And yeah, it smells weird in here.

Because everyone talks about healing like it’s this neat little curve:

Feel bad → do a thing → feel better → become your “best self.”

But the real process?

It’s sticky.

Sour.

You lose interest in everything.

People fade.

You forget your own name sometimes.

You cry over commercials.

You stare into space.

You cancel plans.

You stop pretending.

You don’t “get better.”

You dissolve.

And from that compost—your true self grows.

Not the curated identity.

Not the spiritual performance.

But the raw, wild, unnameable essence of who you really are…

…who you were before you agreed to wear a mask for the world.

This isn’t healing.

This is holy rot.

Let it happen.

Let yourself decay.

Let everything false fall off the bone

so your soul can rise from the mulch like the primordial phoenix she’s always been.

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